Stepping aside for Reality

Natural disasters

2008-05-21T13:57:00.002+08:00

I am now entering the second phase of my hibernation.Things have been happening. Once in a while, I poke my head out to take a look at the world. Oh.....holy shit....Asia is under attack. We are assailed by natural disasters left, right and centre. Yup, the aliens have been busy.Cyclone in Myanmar.A lot of people affected.Terribly bad news.Earthquake in China.Also a lot of people

Hiatus

2007-12-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

I first started blogging four years ago. It was more a harmless pastime rather than a vehicle for a real social message. Yeah, like I would have a real social message! During these four years, I discovered my love for writing fiction, which was mostly on wuxia. However, I consider the 'Chronicles of Gaia' to be my best work. That was my one and only attempt at science fiction. I still love the

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 30

2007-12-21T00:26:00.000+08:00

Chapter 30: ConclusionXiang Xiang could see that her brother Yiji was glad to be home. She hoped that the homecoming feast that she had prepared for him and her new sister-in-law was to their satisfaction. Shi Mei impressed her. She noticed the easy manner by which Shi Mei chatted with Wen Yiji and the respectful manner by which he accorded her. “He seems so domesticated!” Xiang Xiang mused to

Thanks to crappy booze

2007-12-17T11:09:00.000+08:00

Last week could have been my last posting for the next several years. I knew that if nobody paid any dues to Master Vin, then the honourable thing for me to do was to leave the wuxia story unfinished. That would mean walking away from a project that I had started in May. This is quite a serious matter to me. It is not inconceivable that I would give up half a year of work just to satisfy this

Fengshui site

2007-12-12T10:33:00.000+08:00

The conclusion to my story is still some days away. The battle scene requires a bit more work than usual because it involves Xiang Xiang as well. It has been fun writing the story so far although I was squeezed for time for the most part. Nevertheless, the journey is about to end and I will then say goodbye to all the story characters.You would have noticed that I have used some fengshui theories

Weather woes

2007-12-10T11:14:00.000+08:00

It’s been raining, raining and raining. It is a cause for concern. Studies have shown that rainwater obeys gravity, Meaning that it will flow into the Smart Tunnel. The tunnel may be smart, but the water is smarter. There has to be a good reason why the Smart Tunnel is called the Smart Tunnel. I wish that someone, anyone, would tell me what it is. Time for some statistics again; studies have

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 29

2007-12-06T12:04:00.000+08:00

Chapter 29: HomecomingThe pirate ship anchored off the coast and a rowboat from the ship was seen heading for the shore. When the boat, which was filled with several men, reached land, a distinguished-looking bearded man got out. He stared at the surroundings as the boat headed back to the pirate ship. He was glad to be on land. It was the beginning of winter and he hated sailing at that time of

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 28

2007-11-27T17:24:00.000+08:00

Chapter 28: Fulfilling the betrothal agreementThe trembling Prince Jin guessed that his life was about to end. In desperation, he cried out, "Wait! We can talk! I am willing to pay you a large sum of money if you will work with me! And when I become the new Emperor, you will have riches beyond your wildest dreams!"Wen Yiji laughed, "I am not the least bit interested! Frankly, I would have left

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 27

2007-11-23T17:14:00.000+08:00

Chapter 27: Size does matterJust before nightfall, Wen Yiji headed to the back of the Bamboo Villa. He reasoned that his carriage was most probably kept in the stable which was usually located at the back of the premises. Seeing no one around, he slipped over the high wall and landed inside the villa grounds. There were sentries on duty, but crouching low on the ground and cloaked in

My preference: Broom over boot

2007-11-19T00:42:00.000+08:00

I am in favour of the giving brooms to underperforming government councils and my views are backed by solid scientific evidence.The latest internationally-conducted study shows that by giving errant councils a broom, cleaniness in the council offices will vastly improved. Our findings left us a bit overawed by the magnitude of this discovery. It's a bit like discovering that there is life on

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 26

2007-11-12T20:06:00.000+08:00

Chapter 26: The journey back to ShibaiWen Yiji sat outside the temple and took in the morning rays of the rising sun. The truth was that, he was feeling like shit. The close proximity with the vampire all night had denigrated his life force.“You should sleep in the sun for a while, brother Wen,” advised Shi Mei. “You looked rather pale.”“You go to sleep,” said Wen Yiji. “You were up all night as

Two little dickie birds

2007-11-03T13:58:00.000+08:00

While waiting for the next chapter of Wen Yiji, let's immerse ourselves in something intellectual and read some cultural poetry instead."Two little dickie birdsSitting on the wallOne named PeterThe other named PaulFly away PeterFly away PaulCome back PeterCome back PaulThen came two horny birdsNaked on the wallOne gripped PeterThe other gripped PaulOne squeezed the headThe other squeezed the

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 25

2007-10-29T00:44:00.000+08:00

Chapter 25: The King of the VampiresThe Ghost Master held the note that had just arrived by pigeon. He read it again. Pursing his lips, he muttered, "This One Eye Snake commands a hefty price! I'll be a fool to pass up the offer!" "What is it, sifu?" asked one of his disciples. "We have been engaged to kill a man, a most dangerous man," answered the Ghost Master. "He is a powerful fighter, it

Three sentences on what

2007-10-22T09:58:00.001+08:00

Today, I have no bullshit to report.Except, perhaps, for the weather. It rained this morning, but that ain't bullshit.

Leak

2007-10-18T10:56:00.000+08:00

I feel sorry for one of our local politicians who recently announced to the whole world that "My ‘pipe’ is leaking here and there."Poor guy. What an unfortunate problem.But don't you worry needlessly......everything can be fixed.When I see him, I'm gonna give him a roll of duct tape to solve the situation. If that doesn't work, then he'll have to use a rubber band. No choice. We can't have him

Look before jumping into fengshui

2007-10-17T10:06:00.000+08:00

Before you buy a book on fengshui, a word of caution from fengshui Master Vin Leo is timely. Many of the theories sprouted in fengshui books are not followed by the masters themselves. They will sprout a theory, but when it comes to actual application, they will do something else. The number of people buying fengshui books must be considerable or else MPH will not dedicate a section to it. Most

Ultimate

2007-10-17T00:46:00.000+08:00

I had a brief glance at the TV just now and there was some promo for a new reality show about the search for the Ultimate Porn King and Queen. That grabbed my interest. I knew the answer to that one. For the King, it has to be ten inches. For the Queen, it would be 40 inches. Anything more would be considered grotesque. Then some voiceover on TV explained that they were searching for the Ultimate

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 24

2007-10-11T15:08:00.000+08:00

Chapter 24: The Birdman witnessed a battleThe innkeeper of the Small Shibai Inn bowed low before the Emperor. He and everyone else in the inn had been arrested and then taken to identify the body of the dead Chui La Pah the previous night. Then they had spent the night in captivity until the Emperor was ready to question them,“Do you recognize the dead man, innkeeper?” asked the Emperor. “Yes,”

Outer space

2007-10-10T09:31:00.000+08:00

This story, Getting students interested in space, makes me want to laugh. When I was a kid, my teachers would interrupt my constant daydreaming by shouting, "You are in outer space! Come back!"For the sake of education, we want students to be less interested in space. Not more interested. Get it?The wuxia Chapter 24 is about 80 per cent complete. The action sequences are more complicated to craft

Space participant or passenger?

2007-10-04T09:18:00.000+08:00

The bolehnaut saga continues: Russian envoy confirms that Malaysian is not a ‘mere passenger’Of course he will not be a mere passenger. The Russians will make him do important experiments in space. Highly important experiments. With highly important titles. The Russian envoy has never been to outer space, but never mind that; he can talk like he knows what he is talking about. And that is

3 sentences on whom to marry

2007-10-03T12:25:00.000+08:00

A friend told me about his theory that a woman should marry a postal worker to get licked and marry an income tax official to get screwed. And the guy from the JKR will insist on digging your whatnot.Better buy him a nail clipper.

The Kungfu that ruled the night: Chapter 23

2007-09-28T18:14:00.000+08:00

Chapter 23: The Eighteen ImmortalsPrince Jin was furious by the way that things had turned out that evening. Instead of becoming the new emperor-to-be, he now had to fight to ensure his survival. One false step would be the end of him. However, the game was not over yet.“Are there any loose ends that we have not thought of?” asked the Seventh Prince. “Any of your men still unaccounted for?”“Just

Mid autumn festival last night

2007-09-26T18:18:00.000+08:00

Last night was the Mid Autumn festival. For some reason, my dog was happy. It ran round and round the garden, much to the amusement of Hot Babe. For one brief moment, I thought that it had too much mooncake.Watching the lanterns last night under the full moon reminded me of the Swordsman Wu literature (Lantern Tales) that I wrote two years ago. Two years! Oh my…..how time flies! Since then, I

Random post

2007-09-25T13:47:00.000+08:00

Today’s random topic is on bungee jumping.Why?‘Coz it’s a random topic.Again…...why?‘Coz it doesn’t make sense.A guy jumps off the high end and is jerked back and forth on a string. It sounds like something that your boss might do to you. Jerk you back and forth. Like a yo-yo. And after that, you check to see if you shitted in your pants.Stupid sport. At least with your boss, you got paid for

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 22

2007-09-20T11:18:00.000+08:00

Chapter 22: The night of the full moonThe Seventh Prince was hiding restlessly in his room when the music recitals started. Tension filled him to the brim and he wondered if Chui La Pah was really able to kill with his flute as Sun Cheong claimed. When he suddenly felt a slight unexplained vibration of evil in the air, he somehow sensed that it was the Flute Master's doing. He did not hear

Late

2007-09-13T18:05:00.000+08:00

This is just a quick note to say that the next chapter of that illogical character, Wen Yiji, will be late. I ran out of ink and paper. Knowing how much I love you guys, I’ll just bite my finger and do the writing with blood. That solves the ink part.As for paper, a friend told me that he will fax some over.

Cannot use the word “Indon”

2007-09-11T18:09:00.000+08:00

Monday’s one-star paper printed:Envoy: Stop stereotyping Indonesian workersZainal Abidin urged Malaysians to erase from their vocabulary the term “Indon” used to refer to the Indonesians. The Indonesians, he said, felt trongly about the word as to them it was a degrading term. “The Information Department and Wisma Putra have already instructed the media to stop using the word to refer to

3 sentences on counting

2007-09-07T18:15:00.001+08:00

There is no doubt some logical explanation on how I seem to have overshot my expressed target of 20 chapters for the wuxia story. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't. And for those of us who can count......well......we only have ten fingers and two hands and that only allows us to count up to 12.

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 21

2007-09-05T09:53:00.000+08:00

Chapter 21: Killing me softly with his songWen Yiji entered the town of Shibai in the early afternoon. He guided to carriage to a familiar side of town looking for a suitable place to stay. He wanted somewhere obscure so as not to attract attention. He had stayed at the Small Shibai Inn the last time that he was here. It had been a long time ago, during his Imperial Guard days. The Small shibai

Hand-me-downs

2007-09-03T08:44:00.000+08:00

The next wuxia chapter could take a while. The fight scene between Wen Yiji and the Flute Master was getting too gross and gruesome and I had to rewrite the chapter more delicately. It's one of my more memorable fight scenes.I received this via email:"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." What a kid! What an attitude! One

Merdeka

2007-08-31T23:36:00.000+08:00

Merdeka!For one day, I am going to forget how communal we have become.There is always hope.

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 20

2007-08-29T17:37:00.000+08:00

Chapter 20: The Land of the GiantA pair of eyes peeped from the bushes and spied on the girl lying on the ground. They looked on for a long time, taking in the sight. Finally, the bushes parted and a big figure furtively threaded towards the girl. He was tall for his age and his eyes were set apart further than what was considered normal.Using his dirty toes, he nudged the unconscious Shi Mei.

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 19

2007-08-27T15:01:00.000+08:00

Chapter 19: The Pool of the Devil fishThey had been travelling for several days. The rains came intermittently but the roads were usable. Wen Yiji was glad for the company of Shi Mei. She did not seem fazed by the sacks and sacks of human bones in the carriage. Many girls would have felt squeamish, but not Shi Mei. Maybe it was her medical upbringing that made the difference.News of massive

A suck situation

2007-08-23T09:28:00.000+08:00

Oh, btw, for those of you still following my wuxia story, in the next episode I will detail out how the town of Shibai got its name.On to today’s posting.If there is one thing that I have learned about physics, it is this:Vacuum sucks. And absolute vacuum sucks absolutelyI used to think that anyone who mounts the suction tube of a vacuum cleaner to his dick needed his ass kicked. Thoroughly. Or

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 18

2007-08-21T16:16:00.000+08:00

Chapter 18: The end of a wardenThe sun was high in the sky when Wen Yiji got up. He shaded his eyes as he walked out of the stable in his needle-assisted visible self.“The sun has risen up in the sky much earlier than usual,” he noted aloud. “I wonder if this heralds a climatic change.”“It is not the sun that is early, but you who are late,” said Shi Mei from nearby. “How does your left arm feel

One sentence

2007-08-20T22:14:00.000+08:00

Rumours of my abduction by sexy space aliens have been grossly overstated.

Female hyenas

2007-08-16T10:34:00.000+08:00

So now it's official: female hyenas actually do prefer foreign mates.....and for a very good reason. From now on, nobody, and I mean nobody, make fun of those sarong party girls. We now know that they were not after the ang moh for a good time or money. No, no, no. They were just trying to avoid inbreeding.

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 17

2007-08-13T00:17:00.000+08:00

Chapter 17: The casino battleThe owner of the Casino Royal, Ah Long, was having tea with Whiteface when one of his fighters straggled in. Ah Long stared at him coldly before speaking.“I asked the five of you to go and collect one simple bad debt for me this morning,” he scolded. “Now only you get back! It is almost evening! If like that, you may as well not come back!”“Boss,” gasped the poor man.

Speeded up evolution

2007-08-09T09:17:00.000+08:00

I have said it many times before and I will say it again; modern humans resulted from gene manipulation by aliens who wished to speed up our evolution. We would not have reached this stage yet if left to evolve on our own. Read the latest findings about how ".....an early form of human called Homo habilis did not evolve into Homo erectus, as previously believed."They are still here. They aliens I

Need more memory

2007-08-07T09:01:00.000+08:00

Need to add more RAM to my Dell notebook running on Home Vista. Thinking 1 gig at least. Or maybe 2. I popped into one shop and they quoted me RM189 for 1 gig of DDR2 RAM. Forgot the brand. Anyone knows if this is reasonable?

3 sentences on that spelling error

2007-08-06T14:06:00.000+08:00

"Aziz kept bucking his British bosses"Okay, I'm not quite sure what Aziz did exactly, but I bet that you had the same wicked thought as me; that the huffy stuffy one-star publication made a dumb spelling error in today's bad issue.Oh, what the buck, everyfody makes mistakes.

About good luck

2007-08-06T10:25:00.000+08:00

Professor Richard Wiseman from the University of Hertfordshire thinks that he has solved the mystery of what constitutes good luck. Here are his four top tips for becoming lucky:Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally rightBe open to new experiences and breaking your normal routineSpend a few moments each day remembering things that went wellVisualise yourself being lucky before an

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 16

2007-08-03T17:58:00.000+08:00

Chapter 16 : Ah Keong’s rewardBreakfast was ready when Wen Yiji got up from sleep. Shi Mei had got up earlier and performed all the necessary preparations.“Good morning, brother Wen,” she greeted his half invisible form. “I have prepared some light mince meat porridge for you to eat.”“Oh,” he said. “Where did you get the mince meat?”“There was a street vendor at the door and so I bought some meat

Chin Tu Lan provides Yahoo Answers again

2007-08-01T09:16:00.000+08:00

Any tricks for staying awake at work when you’re about to drop off at your desk?I just cannot understand why anyone would want to stay awake at work. Seriously, that’s the best time to sleep! If you had spent the whole night partying, how are you going to get your body physically recharged again for the next evening's party if you don’t sleep during work hours? Oh, okay……maybe you are one of the

Physiognomy

2007-07-31T09:55:00.000+08:00

The Simpsons movie inspired today’s topic – physiognomy. That’s the art of judging human character from facial features.For instance, a protruding forehead suggests a slow decision making process.The guy may not be stupid, but he is fucking slow to make up his mind. That is because of the extra length of internal wiring in the protruding forehead that the brain messaging system has to go through.

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 15

2007-07-27T16:06:00.000+08:00

Chapter 15: The Casino RoyalThe young jailor was tired by the time he reached the last cell. Normally, there were two people distributing the food, but today his partner was unwell and so he had to carry the food all by himself. He had joined the ranks of jailors only the previous month. Being new, he was bullied into doing all the heavy work. This made him irritable and not in the best of

1000th post

2007-07-26T09:09:00.000+08:00

This is it; the 1000th post!I first started blogging at the end of 2003. It has been a long journey, during which time I discovered my love of writing. I must confess that I did not always know what I was writing about, but such niceties did not seem to bother me. I had thought of closing down the blog a few times. But the matter is not that simple. For some mysterious reason, this blog works. If

That ridiculous MPH melodrama

2007-07-23T13:10:00.000+08:00

The Harry Potter book mania has left me quite unaffected since I don’t read non-adult books. I would not even have noticed that there was a new book out if not for one thing; the idiotic behavior of our local book chains. In particular, the group operated by the Mentally Phucked Heads.Look, if foreign hypermarkets can sell foreign books by foreign writers at an alien low price, why can’t a local

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 14

2007-07-20T13:56:00.001+08:00

Chapter 14: The new prisonerWen Yiji was nonplussed. He had not expected that the Warden would call three men to sleep in the same room with him. For a moment, he was tempted to stay there all night to slap the warden silly. However, he did not want to freak out the three jailors. He stared at their faces. They were not the same men who held him while he was getting slapped in the restaurant a

The Air Asia debacle

2007-07-18T13:40:00.000+08:00

First, I wish to say that it is ill-advised for the totally disabled to be travelling by Air Asia, or any other low-cost carrier. It is plainly asking for trouble. If the fit and healthy already find travelling by Air Asia such a daunting process, what more for the disabled? The Transport Minister can ho and hum as much as he likes but the plain fact is that all low cost carriers are spartan in

Nightmare on soccer street

2007-07-17T09:56:00.000+08:00

Who is to blame for the degenerating state of our soccer?FAM, the state FAs, or bug-eyed aliens?We are now ranked at 149 in the FIFA world rankings. Which is good if you like the number 149. But I don't.The Youth and Sports Minister advised, "The state FAs must look at themselves in the mirror because the FAM can set the policies but if not carried out or implemented by the states, then they are

Reminder : Today is Friday

2007-07-13T12:16:00.000+08:00

If you have been shoveling the stuff that I have been shoveling, then you would agree that I thoroughly deserve my weekend.And those respectable members of society to whom I have been diligently shoveling to…....well…….they deserve the weekend even more than me.Have a great weekend!

3 sentences on fairness

2007-07-12T17:45:00.000+08:00

Someone told me that if a woman does a man’s job, she’s known as a pioneer. If a man does a woman’s job, he’s known as a faggot. Can life get any more unfair than that?

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 13

2007-07-11T18:20:00.000+08:00

Chapter 13: The betrothal agreementWen Yiji tried to remember where he had heard the name Zheng Shi Mei before. It sounded familiar. He searched his memory but nothing came to mind.“Zheng Shi Mei,” he said. “Zheng…….Zheng…….I do not recall any Zheng…..”“I am the daughter of Zheng Daifu,” said the girl.“Zheng Daifu……Zheng Daifu…….” muttered Yiji. “Yes, I remember a Physician Zheng of Chingnan. You

11 Rules from Bill Gates

2007-07-10T11:05:00.000+08:00

You may have heard of the famous “11 Rules from Bill Gates”. A lot of people said that these rules were not from Bill Gates but from some educator called Charles Sykes. No matter whom they were actually from, these rules are really telling the hard ass facts as they should be told. No fucking around the bush nonsense.Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it. And then you die.Rule 2: The world

The wonders of the world

2007-07-09T11:20:00.000+08:00

Few people can remember the seven wonders of the ancient world:The Great Pyramid of GizaThe Hanging Gardens of BabylonThe Statue of Zeus at OlympiaThe Temple of Artemis at EphesusThe Mausoleum at HalicarnassusThe Colossus of RhodesThe Lighthouse of AlexandriaBy today, only the Great Pyramid has survived. The latest list of seven wonders chosen by a worldwide internet and phone voting system

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 12

2007-07-05T11:40:00.000+08:00

Chapter 12 : The counter plot of a sly concubineThe rhythmic creaking sounds of the bed under the weight of the couple on it filled the small room. Concubine Lin, who was under Prince Jin, suspected that the bed's warranty period had expired. She faked an orgasm at the appropriate moment and screamed, "Yes.....oh yes! Yes! Ayoyoyo......yes!"Prince Jin was none the wiser about the faking. He came

Secrets of success

2007-07-03T16:34:00.000+08:00

When I got up this morning, I asked the room, "What are the secrets of success in life?"The fan said, "Be cool."The roof said. "Aim High!"The clock said, "Every minute is precious!"The mirror said, "Reflect, and then act!"The door said, "Push hard to open!"Wow......so very motivating.After hearing the door, I went back to the babe still lying in bed and pushed hard.I hope you are orso motivated.

Renaming the Melaka virus

2007-07-02T13:08:00.000+08:00

Last year, some members of the same family fell sick in Melaka after a bat entered their living room. Scientists traced the sickness to a new virus and promptly named it the Melaka Virus.The state of Melaka is upset that scientists have named the bat-borne virus after it, news reports said..I understand that many in Melaka are upset.I understand that Chief Minister Ali Rustam is upset.The Health

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 11

2007-06-27T23:42:00.000+08:00

Chapter 11 Yee Ng ChaiThe journey from the dark forest to the town of Qinghe took a greater effort than Wen Yiji expected. He had to use his Dark Fire internal energy to block the Invisibility energy all the way. It was exhausting work. Several times during the journey, he had to stop the carrriage and climb into it so that no one would see him. Then he rested his Dark Fire internal energy. In

The farting dog

2007-06-25T10:23:00.000+08:00

While killing time in a bookshop yesterday, I walked past the children's section and one book title jumped out of the shelves and caught my eye. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.A story about a farting dog? Somehow, I never did imagine that children are into that kind of stuff. Next, they'll be doing a story about a pooping monkey just for the kids. A pooping monkey that whoops while it poops

The Homer Simpson statue caper

2007-06-22T13:36:00.000+08:00

You must have heard that the cops managed to recover the life-size statue of Homer Simpson seventy-two hours after it was stolen from the Golden Screen Cinemas at the 1 Utama shopping complex.The registration number of the culprits' Proton Waja was captured by closed-circuit television cameras at the mall. It was then a simple matter of looking up the car registration records to see which smart

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 10

2007-06-20T23:34:00.000+08:00

Chapter 10: The Semi-invisible ManThe road to the dark forest passed by a few desolate farmlands. Two young boys by the side of the road stared agog as they saw a horse and carriage with a pair of legs as the driver passing by them.Wen Yiji gave them a cursory glance. He knew that he probably looked like a freak to them.“Monster! Monster!” One of the little boys shouted.“Quiet!” hissed the other

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 9

2007-06-15T17:30:00.000+08:00

Chapter 9: The laws of invisibilityWen Yiji tried hard to stay awake on the carriage. Exhaustion ate into his spirit. The day had been a disaster as far as he was concerned. Nevertheless, he was glad to be still alive after the ordeal with the Buddha Palm and the Devil Flute. The pains within his body told him that his multiple injuries required the attention from a daifu. He was still coughing

Bird check

2007-06-13T14:11:00.000+08:00

Many are still unaware of the risks from bird flu. Or maybe we are aware, but are just waiting nonchalently for the price of chicken to drop. Fucking vultures.For some reason, bird flu fails to evoke emotions of frantic horror in quite the same manner as the issue of Paris Hilton out of prison. Which explains why we have not been treating bird flu with all the grave seriousness that it thoroughly

Chin Tu Lan provides Yahoo Answers.

2007-06-11T11:02:00.000+08:00

Is it true that if you take a half-torn bill to the bank, they'll give you half the bill's value?Not true. The bank people will say that it is vandalized property and that you are in possession of vandalized property. Then they will ask you to go back to look for the other missing piece. Then after they get the other piece, they will ask you to fill a form and then wait in a queue. After that,

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 8

2007-06-07T23:30:00.000+08:00

Chapter 8: Always a higher mountainThe two riders slowed down on seeing Sun Cheong prying himself loose from the grip of the Ghost Ninja. They stayed at a respectable distance."Sifu," whispered Blackface on his horse. "Who is that man?”"That is Master Sun Cheong," whispered back Chui La Pah. "And the old man on the ground looks like the Ghost Ninja!""From the looks of it, this Sun Cheong must

Ageing

2007-06-06T09:26:00.000+08:00

I don’t usually have time to read the news. Skimming over the headlines is usually what I do, and then I quickly try to guess the news. Imagine my concern when I read this news story header:“Concern over ageing fuckers”Is there a genuine cause for concern? Of course there is! Ageing fuckers may get a heart attack on the ninety-ninth stroke, if you know what I mean. And if he collapses halfway, he

Three paragraphs on news

2007-06-05T09:07:00.000+08:00

There is something odd about this Altantuya affair. Change of judges, change of lawyers, change of prosecution team, change of trial date. It's all very strange. Even the old familiar smell of bullshit has changed. Let's change the topic. I don't like to talk about people getting murdered. Wuxia fiction is different. Kungfu characters get bumped off in the most horrific manner so that you can get

Working weekend

2007-06-02T12:16:00.000+08:00

This is a working weekend for me. Got deadlines to meet. Wuxia writing will have to be delayed by a few days.I love writing wuxia. It relaxes me. It's not as good as sex however. Have to get our priorities right. If wuxia writing ever becomes as good as sex, my pen will run out of ink in no time.

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 7

2007-05-28T11:45:00.000+08:00

Chapter 7: No Equal Under HeavenA voice from the house floated out to Wen Yiji, “Is that old bastard still alive?”Wen Yiji looked in the direction of the house. A bald stocky man was walking out of the door.“Please do not call him a bastard,” said Wen Yiji. “The fact that he can be a bastard does not give you the right to call him one.”“Who the hell are you?” snarled Sun Cheong, the stocky man.“

Pay rise and stuff

2007-05-23T15:07:00.000+08:00

All you 'see view' servants........sorry........I mean 'civil' servants.....who got your pay increase, you better know what to do next. No, I don't mean get ready to vote for that whatnot in the next elections(whixh we know is just around the corner). I mean, get ready to be more civil to us taxpayers who are the ones funding your pay rise. Don't just stare out of the window to look at the view.I

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 6

2007-05-21T11:08:00.000+08:00

Chapter 6: The theories of Zheng Shi MeiThe boat reached the middle of the river where the current was strongest. Wen Yiji saw the floating carcasses of cows and pigs floating past them. The boat moved past a number of dead human bodies in the water and Shi Mei winced.“Could be victims of some mishap upstream,” the boatman explained. “This is nothing. When the river overflows, lots of people die

American Idol - The final 2

2007-05-18T17:45:00.000+08:00

So, Melissa Doolittle is voted out. Great singer. She will do well in the Vegas circuit. That leaves only Jordin Sparks and Blake Lewis.Whoever wins the title, one thing is certain. Jordin Sparks will be the one who will enjoy phenomenal success. Even if she does not win, she will still enjoy much more market popularity than Taylor Hicks or Fantasia Barrino. Her voice has a special quality to it.

Making your presence felt

2007-05-17T22:22:00.000+08:00

You know what I think? Parliamentarians who make crude jokes about women should not be allowed to contest elections. That will surely be a wake-up call to the rest. The parliament is not a pasar malam to spew nonsense without engaging the brain. It is there to decide for the well being of the country.As for banks who try to apply blatently discriminatory policies, they won't be getting my

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 5

2007-05-15T11:00:00.000+08:00

Chapter 5: The hunt for the Ghost NinjaWhen the huge sailing junk docked at Tsingtao, Wen Yiji disembarked with his carriage. The wind was good and the sea journey had taken only about half a month. Wen Yiji had to pull his carriage to the nearest inn. The next morning he inspected a horse from a man introduced by the innkeeper. The horse was a black and white pinto,“This horse is the best there

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 4

2007-05-13T13:12:00.000+08:00

Chapter 4 : For whom the stars shineIn a little house in a town south of the Yellow River, Zheng Shi Mei sat on a stool and fed porridge to her aged father who was sitting in bed. She was eighteen years old and was a good looking girl. Healthy and a bit tomboyish, she was the only child of a Physician Zheng. The most attractive feature about her was her eyes, for she had beautiful eyes.Patiently,

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 3

2007-05-10T00:25:00.000+08:00

Chapter 3: A hint of betrayalKotekichi was the last of the Kansai Killers to arrive at the scene. Running silently along the dirt track, he spied the body of the fallen Arahkiri under a tree. He rushed to the body and discovered to his horror that Arahkiri had already perished from a broken neck. His ears picked up faint sounds in the distance that alerted him to the fact that there was fighting

The way of the bitter gourd

2007-05-09T10:18:00.000+08:00

Some of you who read the current story “The Kungfu That Ruled The Night” may not be aware that the character Wen Yiji came from the previous story “The Cook and the Assassin Part 1 –The Fire Within”. Wen Yiji’s character is dark because he had been poisoned in prison previously and thus his personality changed from ”personality” to “poisonality”. Well, not quite. It was only partial poisonality.

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 2

2007-05-06T23:00:00.000+08:00

Chapter 2: The Kansai KillersThe three men huddled in the middle of the track and waited for the fourth man who was up a tree on a nearby hill. The man on the tree soon climbed down to confer with the rest of the men. All of them were dressed as local traders to hide the fact that they were foreigners. At a glance, it would not be possible to tell that they were actually professional assassins

The Kungfu That Ruled The Night - Chapter 1

2007-05-03T16:06:00.000+08:00

Chapter 1 - A Plot of Royal DimensionsThe man seated alone at the table in the tea house looked every inch a businessman. His clothes were well sewn and looked expensive. The waiters knew that he owned a very successful duck restaurant in town. They were honoured that he was a customer at their tea house. He had been seated at the table for quite some time and was getting impatient.A waiter

The next wuxia

2007-04-24T13:46:00.000+08:00

The next kungfu story will actually be The Cook and the Assassin Part 2. The main character is Wen Yiji again. It will be entitled:"The Kungfu that Ruled the Night."One chapter in the middle of the story is already done. I shall be responsible for the writing. The least you people can do is take charge of the publicity as I won't be pinging the chapters this time around. Just writing it will be

Busy

2007-04-17T11:05:00.000+08:00

No time to update for the next few days. I've been busy. Busier than a bee. Busier than a bee fornicating while collecting pollen. Before you point out the lack of likelihood of such a scenario playing out, let me just say that I'm too busy to type anything else.

Tax season

2007-04-12T09:12:00.000+08:00

You may have heard by now about how the new Immigration Headquarters in spanky wanky Putragaya sprung a leak in one of the water pipes and everybody stopped working. This is something new. Usually, it is when the electrical power fails that everybody stops working.It's tax season. At times like this, I have to constantly remind myself that the tax department does not stop working. That money is

Statues

2007-04-11T08:51:00.000+08:00

It is no fun being a statue.Pigeons shit on them all the time. Indiscriminately.On top of all that, women make fun of them. Frequently.Statues are the result of politicians. Before you attempt to correct me by saying, “That’s statutes…..not statues”, let me just state for the record that I am speaking from the karmic point of view.I can’t think of a single good enough reason how statues came into

Ambidextrous

2007-04-10T08:31:00.000+08:00

On Sunday night, I was bored enough to watch an Andy Lau movie on TV. Tony Leung Ka Fai, who acted as a clownish sidekick(or ka la fare) in the movie, attempted to describe how incredibly sexy one of the girls was. In a tone of awe, he said that the sexuality index of the girl was so high that she could only be matched by two others; namely his left and right hand.Eh…..I did not know that his

Left-handed statistics

2007-04-06T08:04:00.000+08:00

First, I read this on the web:"Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do."My sympathies to the lefties. Could be some yin-yang biological differences that is to blame. Or so I thought.Then I read this:"More than 2,500 left handed people are killed every year from using right handed products."Oh......now, that explains a lot.

Tagline

2007-04-05T08:24:00.000+08:00

I love the tagline from one of those mattress manufacturers:“Tomorrow begins tonight.”It's got potential. It's got possibilities. It's got me written all over it.I'm so stoked that I'm gonna use it in my next kungfu story. Except that I will modify it a teeny little bit to:“Tomorrow’s babies begin tonight.”Oh, yes!

Dubious Science Exhibition

2007-04-03T09:14:00.000+08:00

This is downright embarrassing. To think that our public universities are so desperate for awards that they had to spend millions to take part in some dubious exhibition so that they could get dubious awards from some commercial award factory. Oh…...the idiocy of it all. Hey, that’s our money they are using! This just in. One university is going to send in an entry for “Culturally

AI Season 6

2007-03-30T08:49:00.000+08:00

This season’s American Idol is driving me to sleep. Bunch of crock. The only potential I have seen so far is 17-year old Jordin Sparks. She has star quality and a great voice. The rest just don’t have anything much to work with. Melissa Doolittle can sing, but she does not have the kind of star quality to make her a huge star. I like her though. As for the other vaunted singer Lakisha Jones, she’

3 sentences on philosophy

2007-03-28T08:46:00.000+08:00

I realize that I sometimes come across as a shallow but great-looking guy mouthing off endlessly and that all I can ever think about are issues concerning the passion-driven offloading of the liquid contents of my nuts on this little alien-operated space island. It may surprise some to discover that I am in fact a closet deep thinker who subscribes to more than just the cynical philosophy of

90 times a day

2007-03-27T16:31:00.000+08:00

I heard this question on the radio yesterday: “The average person *------* 90 times a day.” Well, what is it that the average person would want to do for 90 times a day? No, the answer is not “wank”. Twenty times may be believable, but 90 times would be stretching it a bit thin, don't you think? And what was the official answer as given by radio? It’s “check the time”.

rebate

2007-03-26T14:57:00.000+08:00

Hear ye, the tax season approacheth. To see if you are really in need of a tax rebate, we would like you to take this simple one question survey. If you were given a financial tax rebate, you would use it wisely to: a) Make a cash contribution to the poor and needy b) Give it to the government

French UFOs

2007-03-24T00:41:00.000+08:00

You already know that I think that the planet earth is operated by aliens and human beings are like livestock. Bred to become some sort of super space race so that the aliens will find us worthy to serve. Unlike the aliens, we are mortals, and that is what make us exceptional.Occasionally, the French people make some really great contributions to the human race. Like inventing the french kiss,

Datuk or encik

2007-03-22T08:30:00.000+08:00

I laughed when I read this news story: Just call us Encik, says top copKUALA LUMPUR: There is no need for members of the public to address police personnel as “Datuk” or “Tuan” as this would not assure them of special attention or service.” Get real. We call them “datuk” not because we want special attention. It is because we DON’T want special attention! Meaning that we want

Chicken

2007-03-20T13:40:00.000+08:00

Today I am going to blog about bird flu. Today I am going to tell a joke. I heard this old joke many years ago: There was a young man who was broke but horny. So he visited the madame of a house of ill repute to find out if he could get some action on credit. “Sorry,” she said. “No money no talk.” “But I will have some money tomorrow and I will pay you then,” he said.

Good times

2007-03-19T15:39:00.000+08:00

The weather is getting me down. Want to rain….don’t want to rain…but want to rain. Fed up. Depression is starting to hit. Depression. Oh woe. Want to die, don’t want to die. Why this world like that? The world has always been in some kind of shit or other. Terrible shit. People killing each other, people blowing up shit, people fucking chickens. Really terrible shit. I

Ooohgasm

2007-03-16T08:59:00.000+08:00

I’m having an ooohgasm. It means I’m saying “oooh…oooh….oooh….” like there’s no ending. This happens when a minister starts to backtrack. Remember this week when we bloggers were described as 'liars’ and ‘mostly jobless women’ by none other than a minister who gets his salary from us tax-paying bloggers? I resent that remark. I have never been, nor will I ever be, a jobless woman.

Bones

2007-03-15T08:36:00.000+08:00

On reading this bit of news about some farmer in Montana wishing to sell off the mammoth bones found on his farm, my dog wanted me to buy them for him. That many bones would give him a whole year of chewing pleasure. I told the hairball “no”, that even if the bones were cheap, the high cost of transporting them here from Montana would be killing. Besides, at 12,500 years old, the bones were

Paula Jackson

2007-03-14T13:31:00.000+08:00

Somebody, please tell me that Paula Abdul is not Michael Jackson in drag.The resemblance is so close that it's uncanny.That would explain why Paula is always acting weird.